absence and presence
The last few nights grief has awakened and carried me downstairs in the darkness of midnight. Anniversaries of loss are surrounding me and during these times the poignancy of grief is more pronounced. I used to panic thinking I'd be unable to find my way out of the pain of loss, but I've discovered that if I lean into it and give it its moments, it will pass.
Of course, it will also return.
So I've come to call it sacred loss and do my best to treat it as such. For me this means recognizing its genesis is profound love I've been fortunate to experience.
It means lighting candles alone in the dark and allowing myself to feel vulnerability and sadness, while in the same breath feeling exceptional gratitude for the ones I love here beside me now.
It is recognizing the presence of lost loved ones even in their absence.
It is turning to nature for solace again and again and training my eyes and heart to find beauty wherever they can.
It's peeking out the window and looking for stars in my darkness.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Reader Comments (7)
you've described the treading of balance so eloquently. sacred loss, such an intriguing perspective. i'll ponder on that one.
i trust you will heal further and deeper.
thank you for these words. i am always moved by the way you work with/write with "opposites" not in the true sense but in the way that invites the reader/listener to pause and really think. in sharing your experience with grief, i am invited to know i am not alone. and yes...the leaning in...beautiful.
sending love...
xo
I too have been feeling the presence of lost loved ones, as this is the time when the barrier is at its thinnest. I love "sacred loss," and I've been contemplating the term "scared sacred." We find light and love and our higher power in the most troubling of times. They've all been there all along, they just shine brighter when everything looks dark.
i relate so much to this...
hand on heart sigh. sending love.
thank each of you for your kindness and your comments. i appreciate you taking the time to stop by. <3