practicing
I am now a girl with a hula hoop. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a hooper, but I'd be happy to get there. I've been spinning inside summer; making the most of the sunshine and extended daylight with sandy feet, endless glasses of ginger-coconut iced tea on the front steps, a magazine in hand and the sounds of Mumford & Sons wafting through the screen door.
There's an emotional whirling happening too. We've been readying a home to sell. A charming house we bought when we first arrived in Los Angeles six years ago. It is time to let it go. Being there shuffles me into the deck of the past somewhere between nostalgia and an emotion yet unidentified. I am sitting with it, letting it surface with teary eyes. I'm taking those cleansing breaths that are supposed to alleviate moments of anxiety. I suspect I've touched on shards of loss that have been smoothed over by time but are still razory when pressed closely into the palm of your hand. This home holds memories of three loved ones who lived nearby and have since departed. It holds memories of the dalmatian that rocked our world. It holds memories of visits with my mother who is no longer able to travel. I recognize we hold these memories too, that they will not be lost. At about the same time we moved here I found the words of Pema Chodron, encouraging me to learn to welcome the present moment as though I had invited it. This has been my practice. Sometimes I forget but then, like razory shards of loss, I remember.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Reader Comments (5)
I have been wanting a hoop. Well, I have one - purchased long ago - but I think it is not the same as the hoops meant for hooping. Someday I will see one. Wishing I could come over and hoop with you when that day comes.
It sounds like there are a lot of dear and weighty (weighty is not the word I want to use, but I cannot find that word right now) memories tied up in the home. I can imagine the feelings it brings up. Sending love and comfort to you as you work - with the house and with the feelings.
xoxoxo
A hula hoop in the sun that sounds delightful. I am currently transitioning in my life. It feels hard and I have been trying to gain ground but there comes moment of surrender. reading pema is something that often pointed me in the right direction. thanks for the reminder.
Oh Whirly Girl your words flow like honey. I love the image of you and that hula hoop as you invite the present moment into the circle you are spinning.
You have given me such sage advice on this sifting of homes and their memories. These homes are parts of our story, parts of who we have been and parts of who we have loved so it is hard to let them go. If they could be folded up like a book and placed upon a shelf it would be easier but also heavier in the end.
"I suspect I've touched on shards of loss that have been smoothed over by time but are still razory when pressed closely into the palm of your hand." Beautiful...
Sending you strength, love, comfort and peaceful closure. xoxo
how I know .......love your images, love your words
elizabeth ~ lets hoop! still trying to get the hang of it over here. :) thank you for your soothing kindness.
keishua ~ thinking of you in your time of transition. sending love and moments of pure joy.
stephanie ~ yes, that is exactly it. thank you, sending you all the same and a big hug along with it!
martha ~ yes, yes you do know and then some. xo